|
[14 Sep 2006|03:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Somewhere Over the Rainbow \\ Israel Kamakawiwo'ole |
] |
I am a failure.
Today proved it.
|
|
|
[05 May 2006|03:54pm] |
I'm under the personal belief that
I'm not only a waste of space
but a failure of a human being.
someone tell me I'm wrong?
I love you Rosemary
I just want all this shit to be over.
for things to be normal again.
PS: I have a temporary computer set up in
the hotel room I'm staying in. I can get online now.
Talk to people soon.
|
|
|
[28 Apr 2006|11:57am] |
I'm packing up all of my stuff,
and moving out of my dorm today.
I won't be on the computer for at least a few days.
But that's ok I guess.
I just wanted to tell everyone where I would be.
Rosemary, I LOVE YOU! :D
I'll talk to you soon baby.
Uhm, talk to everyone later, when I get my intarbutts back.
|
|
| We got a Kitty! |
[18 Apr 2006|10:44pm] |
Rosie and I got a kitty today!
We named it...
Blunston Mufflebugs!!
Bwahahaha
Isn't she cute?
♥ I love you honey! ♥
|
|
|
[17 Apr 2006|03:29pm] |
It's my birthday.
Fuck if I feel older.
Whatever tho.
More later.
|
|
| I posted this as anon in a comm. art project |
[31 Mar 2006|03:12pm] |
Wanted to keep it...
It's been almost 8 months, and I'm about to be 19.
I feel ageless now, like a child one moment and like an adult the next.
You settled me into my dorm, never thinking it would be the end.
I don't know what you were thinking, but I've decided...
You were thinking that you had made it. You finished what you set out to do.
You got me to a place where I could better myself, and become something.
And in the car, on the ride home, you left us.
You never came back...and two days before my first day of class.
By what was supposed to be my second day of class, I saw you in your final resting place.
But I forgive you, because it took this to make me realize how much I love you, and how much I would miss you.
I love you, Dad.
|
|
|
[26 Feb 2006|01:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
All I do is dream about you lately.
It's disturbing.
I hate waking up afterward.
Fond memories.
and Half baked ideas of going back home.
You're always there.
You're always helping.
It makes me think you're still around.
I want you to be back.
But no matter how much I want it.
You're never coming back...
I don't want to say that you haunt my dreams.
That sounds like you're being evil about it.
I like seeing you.
I just wish it was easier every morning when I wake up.
6 months ago 6 days back.
And it still happened yesterday.
Keep watching...
maybe I'll make you proud.
Something that reminds me of you.
( How I go\\Yellowcard )
|
|
| ...Of Heroes and Heartache |
[04 Feb 2006|11:35pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
LifeOfASalesman_Believe_ViewFromHeaven\\YellowCard |
] |
Imaginitively...my life seems to spiral.
This spiral passes inwards and outwards a line.
This line is the brink of happiness and the depths of heartache.
I like my life when it edges away from that outer edge and streams
evenly along the inside of that line.
Lately...it seems that it's been edging, more and more.
Even jumping that gap.
I make her upset sometimes...a lot...more than I should.
Because I can't be there...
Or I do stupid things...
Or I make her wait more than any human should...
And yet she continues to take me into her arms.
Into her heart.
She demonstrates that my wrongs are minor.
That the things I do are fixable.
And we can be happy.
Then things happen.
My mom.
My family.
My memories.
My dreams.
I'm still influenced by worries and fears that shouldn't be...
Especially if I'm trying to grow up and be a man.
I'm dumb. I'm silly.
I'm insecure about my own decisions more than 50% of the time
What I'm trying to realize is.
I think I'm still a little kid
Maybe not always...
But a lot of the time.
I lead myself to believe I've grown up.
I try and do things on my own.
My dad died and I have to suck it up.
But I can't
Because I can't break away enough to try and take care of myself.
Because I'm scared I'll fail.
My imagination is running wild in the open field of my mind.
And I wish that You were there.
And You
I know you're gone...but I still dream about you..
A lot.
And I know you're sorry.
And that you're still watching.
But we need you here more than ever.
Even though you'll never be coming back.
We love and miss you
( I'm only a kid on the inside... )
|
|
|
[07 Jan 2006|06:16am] |
I'm going back to school today.
I just wanted to say
I love you Rosie.
I'll be thinkin about you on the plane.
|
|
|
[15 Dec 2005|05:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
In recent news
I'm losing my scholarship
I have a 2.0 in school
and my life will soon end
...
at the hand of my mother.
more later~
*crosses fingers*
--
*edit*
I won't lose my aid.
My GPA is looked at yearly, not semesterly.
I have next semester to bring it up
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
lying_next_2you's journal